You pack that August full of bipolar shinanagans, Becca. Pack it GOOD.

Excuse me. Pack it WELL.
Ahem.

August is such a crazy month. School starting... New boyfriend... "SAY WHAT?" No. I won't say what, you dimwitted pusillanimous. Go eat some random veggies.

He's amazing.
Anyhoo.

This month has been rough for reasons which you are not privileged enough to know. Poor you... Unless you already know. o.O
But it's been great too. As if I can't come up with a better word than "great". Psh.
*cue British male voice*
This month's been capital! Mhmm.... quite...
*Male British voice trails off*

For example, this amazing "he" that happens to be good at almost everything he does. Yes. Anything you can do, he can do better. He can do anything better than you. Kidding...
Also, I got to see my LOVERLY BESTY Catnip Tuesday. Yeah, that was necessary. I'm delirious...
And there's always my herb (which I love.) who is now tripping clumsily into adulthood. :D I had quite the shinanagan with her last... Saturday? Yeah. Saturday. TWAS SUPERB FUN! Yay. We read almost all the cards in Walmart. Yurp yurp yurp. That wasn't the... never mind. This is getting awkward. Cake. Nom.

Hugs on the other hand...

NO.

I am not a broccoli tree, and whoever put that on my twitter (months and months ago) was lying. I'm an asparagus tree.

WORD OF THE DAY: Pulchritudinous
Definition: Having great physical attraction, beauty, appeal... adj.
Sample sentence: That eggplant is pulchritudinous.



I said I would present the picture and VOILA! There it is. Pause.
Present sounds like I'm giving you a present and... I am.
YESS!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K-A97Zid-gA
Dance. Now.

NORI NORI NORI!!!
Play. Okay there it is and behold the weird awkward...ness of... it... Fail. If you're confused read the post below this one. Or just be confused.
I'm sick. Hence the random "NO." for the title. That describes my emotions on being sick. "NO." I just yawned, and only one ear popped. Now I can hear better in my right ear than I can in left. DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW ANNOYING THAT IS?! Even though I don't really feel like listening to anything anyway. My coffee cup is empty.

You know what reallllllllly frustrates me? Yeah, random nosebleeds do frustrate me but that's not what I was originally going to say. (I am currently having a random nosebleed.... Minus the random since I'm sick and there are angry midgets in my nose/head/eyebrow area. This is ridiculously unfair since I'm using tissue with LOTION instead of just papery dryness. They should be more grateful. Actually, they should just get out of my nose. ) What frustrates me... DAGFLABBIT it's gone... Stupid medicine... And stupid parentheses/sidetracks. It'll come back to me later... maybe.

And guess what, world? It didn't.




I feel better now.
I have to pee.
IGNORE IT. You have a mission.
Um no?
Yes. Disregard your sudden desire to relieve yourself of this thing called "pee".
Actually it's called-
SHUT UP JUST SHUTCHYO MOUTH
Well now I can't pee. All the bathrooms are taken.


So I started watching a new anime a few days a go. I WAS SICK. It's called Shiki. Woop woop.




That's the opening theme. I have a feeling I'm going to have to edit the size of these videos... Oh well. Cool song, eh? I thought so.

I'm going to write a haiku.

Trains rush through my head
Silent pulsings scare my thoughts
But then they stop cold

Too serious. AGAIN AGAIN!

I am drinking coke
And watching stuff about cake
I want to eat them


...Okay

Hugs on the other hand...

WHALE

OM NOM NOM NOM.

Except when I did that out loud, which I totally did (I always do), I put a "D" before the "OM" so it was like

DOM NOM NOM NOM...

Mhmm...

Today is Monday, and I do not work. Today is Monday- wait I already said that. >.>

PUSILLANIMOUS. Best. Insult. Ever.

Meaning? "Faint-hearted, cowardly"

Example? You are a pusillanimous.

I know I'm so creative. :D

ON WITH THE SHOW! Show? This is a blog. I'm confused.

So today I was reading the google news, and I came across this:

http://hollywoodcrush.mtv.com/2010/08/09/teen-choice-awards-2010-twilight-new-moon-eclipse/

Since most of you will be too lazy to actually click that right now, I'll go ahead and copy and paste the first segment of the article.

"It seems only fair that "The Twilight Saga," which has been sweeping fan-voted award shows continuously since they first hit the scene in 2008, should win the "Most Obsessive Fans" award at the 2010 Teen Choice Awards. Who, Twilighters? Never in a million years!"

So. Woah. Now my fonts all weird. Eh... Can I fix this? Lemme try... Hold on... How bout... Nope... WHALE.... Still no... BLACK WHALE TIMES this is weird. I think I really screwed myself over. Uh.... OHHH I have an Idea!! :D

Okay. Back. That was weird. Weirder for me than you. I'll take a picture... Done. I'll try to upload it in the next post. Okay. MOVING ON.

First off: There's a "Most Obsessive Fans" award? Did this just recently exist or did it also exist when we had all our crazy psycho Jonas Bro fans, and let's not forget our darling Miley Cyrus. Isn't she an angel. Heh... Maybe I just don't pay attention to the news until I feel like it like... like NOW for instance. I have a feeling my font's still weird...

OH that reminds me. HERE YOU GO, GIANN.

Random person talking to Giann: You are SUCH an angel! *grins and cuts pie*

Giann: No. I'm not. I can reproduce *accepts pie*

I don't where the pie comes in. Thought you might be wantin' some pie. So uh yeah...

And there really is no "Second off" because I closed the tab that had article... sorry about that. You can just read it for yourself and imagine my commentary. Bet that'll be awkward if you really know me. Heh.

http://www.google.com/#max34

He likes it when the coffee's done too... except... never mind.

That should a a slightly disheveled owl. I JUST SAID "a" TWICE; Ignore this statement. Maybe more than slightly. My tea is too watery. Like tea flavored water.... Should I have hyphened that? Like you would know...

Okay I'm about to show you something I've only showed like 50 other people.

http://studenthome.nku.edu/~russelljo/flash/dudefalling.swf

Hours of entertainment + MUSIC = Win.

I like the blob man. AND HE LANDS ON HIS HEAD. Okay I'm done. >.>

Hugs on the other hand...

Half in half (and not the stuff you put in your coffee.)

Explanation: KIDDING. You can just be confused....

Um.

Eh okay so I felt bad about all my serious posts sooo IMA MAKE A HALF N' HALF. Half is serious and the other half is... melodramatic. Kidding. Just uh normal me. Humorous, random, I don't know. WHATEVER YOU WANT TO CALL IT.
Get on with it, Becca.

I'm mad. I'm frustrated. I'm depressed. Most people sort all this into one easier-to-digest word: emotional. I call it complex. Yeah, it's harder to digest, but it's more realistic. I just don't know how to handle it... how to say goodbye... how to learn from it all. You'd think I'd learn by now. How DO you say goodbye, Becca? How do you part with someone that's PART of you. I still feel the sores from last time. I don't want it to happen again... Brothers and sisters. Saying farewell to brothers and sisters...
My conclusion to goodbyes: Growing up is hard. Sometimes I'm happy there's no rewind button. I don't want to relive any of it.

Okay.
SNAP OUT OF IT.




I AM A BEARD LOVER. Yes. Yes I am..... Yess..... That last part was slightly awkward. WHALE.
Heh. I held someone's ear today FINALLY. It was glorious, but warm. Makes me sad. EARS SHOULD ALWAYS BE CHILLY. I don't like holding warm ears. >.< Makes for uncomfy fingers.
And by golly
MY FINGERS MUST. BE. COMFY.
OH OH AND I had a Goji smoothie. Yummm. Twas tasty.

Yurp. Short other half. Beards help.

Hugs on the other hand...

Sisters= Spectacular

And If I didn't drink 3 cups of coffee I might not be as open but you can just deal with it.

Random Thought: In my last post I didn't mention that part of my job was to get in a banana suit, hold a "NOW OPEN" sign, and dance crazy on the side of the street. So if you live in my state and you see a dancing banana... Heh...

Okay. This ought to be interesting.


I want to say this to all you readers ( all 2 of you >.>) that I am thankful. Many people look at me and think my life sucks but... there are parts that are actually really spectacular. Even though I've had to let go of some people, and it's RIDICULOUSLY hard considering my past, I have the most amazing sisters. Don't take that lightly. A sister for a best friend is the best kind. Why? Because a friend can walk up and leave, but a sister can't as easily do that. They're bound by blood, and memories. Mine especially. I remember crying in Mary's lap, and she would just stroke my hair wipe away my tears as they poured over my cheeks. I don't remember what exactly she said at the time, but whatever it was, it was awesome. Ha. I remember spilling my guts into Melissa's ears, and she wouldn't overreact. She just held my hands, soaking in the information, and gathered tears in her eyes just like mine. I cannot begin to tell you just how much I love these two amazing women.
I just felt the urge to say all that... so I did... obviously. And even though I'm different... even though time, pain, and goodbyes have changed me, I can still laugh, and I can still feel like there is no tomorrow. I want the world to know that a lot of that feeling is taken up loving my amazing siblings.


Hugs on the other hand...

And so it begins.

Well hello there.
Lots to tell.

1) I've had a job for more than a week now. Around 3 weeks I think. Maybe 2... Anyhoo it's fun. Hard, but fun.

2) It really sucks that I can no longer listen to Bridge Over Troubled Water without thinking of that Clay Aiken dude. Barf. And I like Simon & Garfunkel. >.>

3) I'm sad. I don't really WANT to post this on my blog but heck. It's gotta get out somehow and I prefer it not to be my fist in a wall. I have anger issues...
Anyways. I'm sad. If I were to reflect this onto a facebook status it would say "Becca Joy Jackson is left in the dust".
I don't know... I hate inconsistency, and nowadays that's really all I get. First they're there promising things like "I would never walk away." and "I will always be there for you." And then all of the sudden they aren't there anymore and you're left wondering where you went wrong. To begin with I HATE telling people, and hearing people say "I will always be there for you" and "I will never let you down". Seriously, think about it. You can't ALWAYS be there for someone; life doesn't permit it. And you WILL let someone down whether you mean to or not. Everyone has lives, and they don't revolve around you and your feelings. With that in mind, I honestly don't understand why people walk in making promises they can't keep, and walk out (LIKE IT'S JUST THAT EASY). They may mean to keep them, but if they ACTUALLY THINK ABOUT IT then they know they're screwing you over in the long run. What sucks more is I was actually naive enough to believe them, at the time. Eh.... I make it sound like I'm more angry at them than I am myself. Sometimes that may be true, but most of the time I can barely live inside the person I call "Becca". She's too complex. I feel like I draw people in and then once they really get to know me, they fade out. That means if I want to, at some point, keep friends... then I need to change who I am or I need to change worlds. I don't like changing for people... But also, I can't change without knowing what to change. I don't want to change. Maybe subtract less drama... but besides that, I want more consistency.
I understand that when people get busy, they don't have time to "catch up". I understand that when they move or put themselves into another culture, that they may have to make new friends to be able to get along in life.
But as my mother says "Keep the old friends silver, and the new ones gold."
Which means, regardless, you don't neglect the people you love because that's just not simply how you treat someone you love. Then you warp their view of friendship, love, happiness...

Say you make a friend and you have loads in common. You both love scuba-diving in winter, Indian rap artists, and taking pictures of yourselves upside down. You get along great. Okay say time passes, you make great memories with this friend, and then you start seeing new things about this person. Things you don't know. This person turns out to be a bit more deep than you had imagined. He has gone and is going through a really really rough time. He has a lot of scars; and even though he's really fun and has a great sense of humor, he's seriously hurting too. Let's say that because you're very close best friends, he thinks it's okay to confide in you because that's what friends are for, right? So he confides in you. He shows you a piece of what's hurting him. You say the typical "I'm sorry. I'll pray for you." because you don't know what else to say. But it helps him nonetheless. Then you promise you'll always be there because you genuinely think you can handle whatever is going on his life. You get even more close, but while he's confiding in you, you're finding your fun elsewhere because he's getting really emotional in your eyes, and you don't want your "good mood" to get in the way. Now say his brother and him are VERY close and all of the sudden, his brother get's a variety of illnesses that cause of a great deal of pain. Say one (or even both) of parents gets a disease that will end up permanently disabling him/her. Say his 2 other best friends walk away, rejecting him. Say his girlfriend cheats on him with a guy she just met. Say say say say say say... And then he tells you. And it's too much. He tells you, and without meaning to, you gravitate toward happier, more fun people because you may or may not have a clue on how to help him. He tells you, and you walk away. What you didn't know was that he never meant to be dramatic. He was just trying to be real. He believed that smiling all the time made you fake, and once and a while you add to deal with the issues beneath the surface. He got so excited that he finally had a friend that would just be a friend, that would just listen. He didn't mean to throw his life's waste in your lap. He just wanted someone to listen, and not walk away. He just wanted someone to see inside and recognize that, despite his pain, he could still a fun person to be around. And you're never going to know. You'll always see him as an over-dramatic bloke who catastrophized almost everything. But he just had a lot going on. And he can't make life's pain go away.
AS IF THAT WASN'T ENOUGH.

Scenerio 2...

Say you meet a friend who is just as real as you.... *you get super close, all that mushy stuff*
You listen, and give the best advice you can think of. You also have a LOAD of friends outside of her, but still consider her your best friend. You know almost everything about her. Then one day, some drama having to do with a mutual friend puts you in an awkward position so you don't talk to her quite as much, but you feel bad about it. Your communication goes on and off for a while. You get REALLY busy, and even though she tries to keep the communication running, you just can't find the time. Because of this, you grow distant. The mutual friend drama gets worse, and you go to a summer camp, thus pulling you 2 further apart. She's breaking little by little because she misses you so freakin' much, but you're having so much fun at camp that you don't notice. You make new and better friends, and pretty soon, you and your old friend never talk. You've moved on, assuming she's fine without you. What you don't know, is that she might like to know how you were able to keep in touch with everyone else while you were busy, and not her. She might like to know what she did wrong to push away such an amazing friend.

BREATHE. Sorry for the rant.

4) School almost starts. Wapow!

5) I can now legally drive... with an adult in the car. IT'S SO SCARY. Fun, BUT SCARY. Methinks I kill baby. And guess what? You get your license revoked for manslaughter. Jail might be an issue too.

6) When I drive, I HAVE TO WEAR MAH GLASSES. Weirdness ensued. I never wear my glasses. I guess I better get used to them.... odd...

7) "Running out of Cheerios is a grave matter that is not to be made fun of"


Hugs on the other hand...