SO yeah, blah. ANYWAYS. Thought I would give everyone an idea of what my life is like right now. Even though I post every day, and most of it is crap you don't have time to read. :) Well... How shall I start? Most of you who really know me would say something like "How is Mary?" and those who REALLY know me would say "Dude. How are YOU?" But if you are just a regular person asking how my life is, then yay; because we're just going to start with life. The confusing mess of things we always find ourselves in. But if we don't find ourselves in "life" then what do we find ourselves in? Ha. That's right, class. DEATH. With isn't confusing or messy at all...well if you want to get technical, dirt can get pretty messy. But I don't think you will be too worried about the neatness of your coffin since you will be, in fact, DEAD. So all in all, neat-freak or not, let's be thankful we find ourselves in life. Even if it is messy.
To totally twist off on a different topic (that is slightly less messy haha)...I hate how you can't press tab on this and have it give you the proper amount of indented space you need to proceed with proper grammar. Word is too genius, but if the key is there, ON YOUR KEYBOARD, why not let us actually use it? That might be nice...using a key, you know what I mean? BACK TO THE BOOK. Now....I feel like I need to start another paragraph...okay then. The side note got it's own little paragraph. Isn't it special...
Life. Messy. Okay I will seriously stop with the word messy now...wait, one more time. MeSsYYYY. Okay. I'm done. LIFE. I can't stop with that word, sorry. Life life life. You are just going to have to deal...I'm so ADD. Even in a blog. Where I can edit. Sheesh. OKAYYYYYYY. How is my life? best word to describe would be: frustrating and/or a let-down. Why? School is less than a month away, and I haven't even finished last years evil crap. (Wait does that mean, there's GOOD crap?...ADD...) Wich is pretty mess....Hahaha. Pretty FRUSTRATING. I have started Karate, which is very fun and stress-relieving; but the stuff at home just follows me everywhere. It's like I can't having a conversation with someone about ME without bringing my family's health into it. Hate to be selfish, but I am, and it is, indeed, frustrating. Let-down because when I was in Africa, everything worked out the way I wanted it to be. I was happy, joyful, optimistic even. It really is like another world. The people are nice and don't care what you look like. It's like arms wide open, all the time. That's nice for anyone. Even people that don't like hugs, like me. (Which isn't entire true but I will explain further on.) America itself is a let-down. You don't get what you want, and no one acts the way you want. I mean, every single best-friend I've had my whole life, except for one, has left me, replaced me, forgotten about me, moved, or just turned into a complete jerk and start beating up on me. That's not too exciting, or pleasant. No one likes to look at themselves and say "What's wrong with me, that I can't keep a friend? What is it in ME that no one will accept?" 1. because that hurts 2. because you can't see everything about YOU from your perspective. Which is why having others around is helpful. Well HONEST others, I guess. Then there's just God's will. God's will is not my will. God's will includes pain, and suffering, and faith, and learning. Mine includes Ireland, and friends, and recovery, and my sister being alive again. I don't know God's will actually, but that is what it looks like to me. It;s like Mary for example: She gets better, starts sleeping, able to goof around, and PLUNK. She faints. BUT low and behold, feels better later, AND plunk again. TRIPS and hits her head. Once it gets to where I can handle it, something else happens, and I'm trying to refrain from screaming at my poster of Miyavi for no apparent reason just because I have to scream at something, and it's not alive. (I hope...) That is an incredible let-down. I'm trying to focus on stuff like "What can I learn through this?" and "What is God teaching me?" but my sister trying desperately NOT to be in the ER is kinda sorta distracting. Maybe just a bit. NOW we're getting into the health of my family.
My dad has Parkinson's disease, and at the same time, is a math teacher for the 7Th grade, and AT THE SAME TIME, has a constant migraine that, on a scale of 1 to 10, remains an 8 to 9. That's rough. Now add a VERRRRRY sick daughter, and a distraught wife, and kid. Now THAT is rough. What is God teaching me through this? Not to break under pressure? And WHY do we want to test that? Not that breaking isn't fun but...I just don't see how he makes it through the day. He doesn't even sleep well. I would be balling my eyes out for missing a shoe right now, and he has so much more to deal with. It's crazy. I don't see him balling for missing shoes. The point to this is...I'm more forgetful lol. Joking. I don't have a point. I'm just typing all the crazy wacko weirdfesty stuff that pops into my head...BALLERNIA. It's okay that I misspelled that. It popped into my head. But yeah. Life in all seriousness is not good right now. And I hate to be dramatic. Although, it's not as bad as it could be. I have a home, friends, a family whom I would die for and love me, food (THANK THE LORD...SERIOUSLY.:D, and a life. Some people don't even have that. Lol.
HUGS. Lol. I dislike hugging GUYS. Girls are fine, but I dislike hugging guys. WHY? Because I get paranoid. It's like this: "DO they mean side hug, or full hug? What if I trip? My shirt is hanging funny...they'll make it worse. What if I loose my balance and collide into them rather than embrace them?....yadda yikkity yack." With girls, I know they have the same thoughts, or I'm not embarrassed if I do do any of those things because they would understand. With guys, I've been told, even though I'm a lot like a guy in some ways, they don't understand girls. See my fear? I DO hug guys, though.So I WILL hug you.(,male. If you are a snake, however, that has soemhow developed the ability to read blogs and...hug people...I would be too weirded out to consider it. My apologies.). But mostly if you initiate it without warning me. I'm fine with that (Unless you're a snake.). But I hate it when they say it beforehand because it gives you time to collect your thoughts and get nervous, and then just stand there awkwardly as their fine muscular arms circle your stiff body. Kapeesh? I've gotten several questioning comments on why I dislike hugs and that is why. I don't hate hugs in general, I just don't see myslelf as a huggy person. So THERE. NOW YOU KNOW. All I'm really saying is (if you're a snake, don't hug me. :)...) hugs are great, they just make me nervous.
Sayonara, person.
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